The Funniest Sex Videos Ever

Wow, nice computer set up, but very bad sex or lack thereof.

This mom is a little too interested in her daughter’s sex life, but at least she helps her be safe.

Sex and the Socket, in this video sex is used to push energy conservative light bulbs.

Oh my, these guys could use some real practice…but till then apparently all they have is air sex? That’s right air sex…kinda like air guitar.

This is a funny-have-you-on-the-floor video that originally aired on comedy central…I guess these guys really need to work on their automatic sexual responses.

This video encourages you to know what you are getting into…

Two versions of the morning after….with a twist…very much worth watching.

Ok, that’s enought for now. Want more? Just visit YouTube.

Getting through airport security, the naughty way

OK, so this not a sexually oriented post per say, but it does involve nudity. For the longest time I have been telling myself that one of these days I was just going to strip naked to get through airport security. Well, today I ran across some images that show that I was not the only one thinking that thought.

Hmm…where do you think they hold their passports?

Humorous image of nude travelers

Here are a few funny cartoons:

Airport Security Cartoon

Ok, this would never work…because we all know you can’t wear shoes…and maybe an umbrella could be considered a weapon?

However, I would not recommend you try this. If they will not let women on the planes with short skirts, I doubt they will let you on naked.

Want to learn more about the IUD?

This short video discusses both the Paragaurd and the Mirena type IUD’s.

There is some debate over which one women prefer. The Mirena, unlike the ParaGard, releases a bit of synthetic progesterone hormone, which may be a problem for some women.

I have had the ParaGard version for nearly 10 years and love it. I did not get increased cramps or bleeding, but everyone is different. Also keep in mind, that the IUD does not protect against STDs. But since my 10 years is almost up, I will soon have to make the decision as to which version I will be going with next.

For much more information see, What is an IUD?, hosted by the Feminist Women’s Health Center.

You may be also interested in:

Planned Parenthood IUD

Birth Control Health Center, IUD

Mirena

The IUD Toolkit

ParaGard

The Most Spankable Ass at Burning Man 2008

And the winner is…yours truly, your Puss and Boots blog author.

Ok….so maybe we did not poll 50,000 burners, but according to my spanker…who spanked tons of women at the burn, I win, lol.

Notice hand print! Smack…he had an amazing talent for spanking. Got my adrenaline rushing, much better than coffee, lol.

Our camp was on the main street of Burning Man this year, the Esplanade, prime real estate that took quiet a bit of effort to get. One of our camp mates spanked hundreds of women in exchange for bottled water. (Of course, imagine him offering spanking for water off playa, he would likely get slapped or reported to the authorities, lol).

However, at Burning Man he had hundreds of women lining up, many of them even pulled thier panties down… only at Burning Man.

So, some answers to the popular questions asked about Burning Man by people who have never attended:

Is everyone naked?

Of course not. But it is a clothing optional society.

Are there orgies at Burning Man?

Of course. But they are not out in the open and you have to look for them and Burning Man is a very consent only community, so these situations should be entered into with respect and love for your fellow burners.

Is everyone on drugs?

Of course not. There are many types of people that attend Burning Man, even families and children. Can it be found there? Yes, but you can find that element in any city. I, myself found no reason to partake – the atmosphere, people and art is more than stimulating enough for me.

And you may be wondering did I find any naughtiness at Burning Man? Of course, I couldn’t be a sex blogger without doing a little research. But for now…I am keeping my secrets.

Watch out girls…the pill may make you choose a bad mate

I ran across this article on MSN, Pill makes women pick bad mates.

We all know that pheromones, hormones and the like add that little something special that just makes you feel crazy about someone. And apparently with the right hormonal connection there is also an increased chance of fidelity as well.

Anyway read the article…if you are thinking about choosing a partner to father your children, you may want to quit the pill to choose more wisely and produce healthy children…don’t fuck with mother nature…she knows what she is doing!

Kama Sutra: Yoni Kisses

Who does not love a little mouth work?

And if they don’t, I wonder why the hell not?!

Ok, so maybe you think you know it all…and maybe you do, but in case not, here are nine yoni kisses from the Kama Sutra:

Outer Yoni Tongue Strokes:

Using your fingers gently open the yoni and with your tongue and lips explore the inner lotus flower.

Inner Yoni Tongue Strokes:

With the woman standing and the man kneeling before her, gently open the outer labia and kiss and lick the inner labia.

Pressing Yoni Kiss:

Approach the yoni like a set of beautiful lips and kiss them with your mouth (without tongue). Explore her body with you hands as you do so.

Kissing the Yoni Blossom:

This kiss involves long labia licks that end at the clitoris, you can add a bit of sucking if that is not too intense for the woman. (Easiest with the woman on her back with her knees bent and apart).

The Flutter of the Butterfly:

After a few labia warm up kisses and licks, stiffen your tongue and flick the clitoral shaft like butterfly wings.

Kiss of the Penetrating Tongues:

After the woman is warmed up and her labia lips are swollen and flush begin to gently push your tongue into her vestibule. Continue to push further and further in as she excites.

Sucking the Yoni Blossom:

Place your mouth gently over the clitoris and suck, add a few tongue strokes. As you suck, gently pull with your mouth.

Drinking from the Fountain of Life:

As your partner excites and she release her sex juice, taste them, enjoy them, they are considered sacred and energizing.

Kiss of the Crow:

AKA 69. Can be performed with one on top and one on bottom or side by side. Just remember that some people may loose control during orgasm, so it may not be a good idea to have your cock in the woman’s mouth when she comes, she may bite, lol. Also, after the woman orgasms (or even right before) she may be extremely sensitive, so be careful.

Remember that everyone is different, some like it rough, some like it soft, some even like teeth just take the time to learn what your partner enjoys and have a great time figuring it out!

Now, get that tongue out and put it to work, we ladies love it.

The Female Orgasm: Who’s job is it anyway?

There is a bit of debate over this subject, many women will say that their lovers should be able to make them orgasm, whereas many men (and women) also agree that the woman has to be in the right mindset to orgasm and that technique is not everything.

So who’s job is it? The man by technique and emotional support or the woman’s by being comfortable and knowledgeable of her own body.

According to the Kama Sutra it is both, or that the secret to great sex is for both partners to be proactive about being stimulated and stimulating their partners.

That said, the man should try to learn what works for his partner, but he should also be sensitive to her concerns, since many woman have been sexually abused they may have negative sexual triggers that they may need to work through slowly. Or they may not be entirely comfortable with their own bodies, they are worried about what they look like or they are not relaxed enough to let themselves go wild.

Here are some ideas for both partners:

The Male (or more masculine partner):

Be patient, provide great emotional support and ask questions and LISTEN. Watch her body language…what makes her arch her back or lift her hips up? What makes her grab the sheets or pillows with clenched fists? What makes her lick her lips or grab her breasts? What makes her dig her nails into you? What makes her heart rate sore and her breathing heavy? What makes her pussy wet? Her nipples erect? Her skin pop into goose bumps? What makes her throw her head back? If she can’t tell you verbally what she wants, her body may tell you, so listen and watch. If you are having a hard time, ask her to show you how she makes herself orgasm and learn from her hands or how she works her toys. Encourage her by telling her how sexy and beautiful she is while she is showing you, make her feel comfortable and accepted. If she has experienced some sort of abuse in the past, that is hard for her to deal with, (and often these things come up in unusual ways or she may not even understand them) be very patient and try not to push the trigger buttons that cause her to be uncomfortable. Also, some women if they have had a hard time orgasming (or not) may break in tears after orgasm, though this may seem strange, it happens, don’t make fun of her, just hold her. Also keep in mind that women may take time, they are not like men necessarily, while many men might love a woman moving straight for the cock, most women enjoy a little teasing and warm up before you dive to the clit. Try to learn the difference between a woman writhing in pain and a woman writhing in ecstasy, often they look very similiar, so ask questions.

The Female (or “female” partner):

Much of the female orgasm is in the mind, this is why you can experience an orgasm in your sleep without physical stimulation. However, many women have a hard time reaching that mindset while they are awake and with their lover. An exercise that may help with this is fantasy. Next time you masturbate imagine your lover doing the actions that make you orgasm, do this often, till you get to the point that when it really happens you are preconditioned to orgasm and your orgasm comes fast. Also, if necessary you may want to become more familiar with your own body and find ways that you think you are sexy. If you feel sexy and beautiful and comfortable in your own skin you will be able to relax during love making and enjoy your lover ravishing and adoring your body. If you have had abuse in the past that causes you to freeze up during sex or you experience strange, unexplainable emotions during sex or foreplay, you may want to get professional counsellings, to help you get through the issues in a safe environment. Don’t expect your lover to know everything or guess what you want. You many need to tell him or show him, tell him when he does something you enjoy. In addition, don’t reprimand your man if he can’t make you come every time, take a little responsibility and make yourself orgasm or show him how in a sexy way. Most men love to make their women come and love to watch them come, however, if you have met a man that cares nothing about your orgasm, you may want to look around for someone that does, because orgasms are about sharing and cooperation, and if he can’t share in bed, he likely won’t share and care outside of the bedroom either.

OK, go try those things out and HAPPY ORGASM to you!!!

How many orgasms can a man have?

Around the bar table, among peanuts shells and cheap beer my girlfriends and I talked about how many orgasms, in their experience past or present, their lovers could have in one session of love making.

Now get ready for your jaw to drop…..keep reading.

So, most came up with the number 3 or 5 per night, perhaps 10 on a really special occasion and many guys take a little recovery time in between. And this is also of course assuming no whiskey dick.

OK, something to aspire to….the record….true story. 21 orgasms in 8 hours, oh my fucking god!!! Who was the lucky girl? I am not telling, but all the girls are jealous.

Sex Positions: That was great honey, what position was that?

This is a true story.

A friend of mine recently was feeling amorous. However, his wife had been training for a triathlon and was extremely tired and sore from extensive training. But wanting to please her husband, she concented to sex with the stipulation that he take it easy on her and not make her work her already overworked body.

Of course, he agreed and they proceeded to have sex. Afterwards, she was pleased and satisfied and says to her husband, “That was great honey, what position was that?”

At this point he looks back at her, a little surprised and confused and replies, “The missionary position.”

After this little incident he realized that he quite often maneuvers his wife into all kinds of crazy and acrobatic positions, but so rarely does the basic moves, that she forgot they even existed!

That is a funny story.

Funny SNL Video: Annuale Birth Control

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Ok, one period a year would be great…but what are the side effects?

Looks like YouTube took the video off, but you can find it on Sugar Giggle.